So I told myself that when I started this blog I would try to be my real self. So here is real talk with Lena. (Also if you don't like journal-y long posts then BYE FELICIA)
This month in particular I've been struggling with comparing myself to others. Mostly unintentional, but as I think about it, I realized that I can spend hours doing this.
Its ABSOLUTELY ridiculous, and I completely know it, but yet I still do it.
Ever since I started @onasugardiet on Instagram, it has been a daily battle to not compare myself to others. I find new instagrammers who have INCREDIBLE photography, and instead of them inspiring me to create more photos, I start picking apart my pictures little by little, thinking about how much my feed could improve and look more like theirs. Or another struggle is comparing how many followers I have compared to others, and wanting to reach as many followers as they do.
A big struggle I have, like most women out there, is I start comparing how I look to others. Over the past few years I've actually gained a lot of weight (something I will probably delve into at a later time) - so with that, I compare how I don't look like others MUCH skinnier than me.
Every time I compare myself, I unintentionally bring my hopes up. I tell myself that if I were more like this person, or post these hashtags or do this or that, that I can be more like them and get what they have.
Although I don't necessarily "say" that to myself, I feel my world crashing when all the effort I put into what I do doesn't produce the same results as the people I compare myself too.
I think whats completely frustrating for me is that I realized I was even doing it. I think I started off with the mentality to not compare myself to others, and just do my own thang, but now I for sure know that I've fallen into the trap of comparing.
Recently I read a quote that just HIT home for me;
"Comparison is such a thief. It blurs reality, saps energy, distorts life, and hurts relationships. Find and be yourself."
Find and be YOURSELF.
Easier said than done right?
Finding yourself is scary.
Finding yourself is uncomfortable.
Finding yourself is coming to terms with your weaknesses.
Finding yourself is realizing you can only change you.
Finding me is realizing that I am not perfect.
The journey of finding myself has been hard and to be honest, I would rather spend my time looking at others and what they have then being real with who I am and what I have. For me that is just easier.
But all I need to do is just STOP.
I need to just STOP thinking that if I look at others, I can be like them, because we all know that that isn't the case.
I can only be me.
The more time I spend trying to be like anyone else it just robs the time finding myself.
I truly believe Jesus created me to be unique (as ABSOLUTELY cliche that sounds) and He has specific plans for me, and cares about ME. I need to find who I am in HIM and His love, instead of what I think is cool or better.
It all comes down to the fact that I can only be me. I only have control of myself, so why would I try being some one else? I think that when I focus on trying to be me and stop trying so hard to be someone else or thinking that being someone else will make other people happy, I will in turn be happier. Right?
I think I need to get my priorities reorganized and try not falling into the trap of comparing myself. To be honest, it will always be something that I will struggle with, but I need to try to keep in focus that I can only be myself.
So with all of that said, I hope that this post helps you. I know so many people struggle with this, so I hope me being real helps you. Its a constant battle we all struggle with, but just know that you are AMAZING and that Jesus loves you.
(also, if your confused about why this post isn't sugar related - read my first post and my intentions with this blog down below!)